October 28 - Sargas 28 and 29 pf Sundara Kanda.
It is always darkest before dawn.
***
Sita is unable to come to terms with her present condition. There seems to be indeed no hope at all for her.
सीता वितत्रास यथा वनान्ते संहाभिपन्ना गजराजकन्या Sita reeled in grief and fright like a young female daughter of a lordly tusker elephant who had fallen into the inescapable grasp of a lion.
विदीर्यते यन्न सहस्रधाद्य वज्राहतं शृङ्गमिवाचलस्य "Alas! Why is my heart not shattering into a thousand pieces like a mountain peak struck by Indra's thunderbolt!?"
"And yet, despite his death threats, I shall not yield to Ravana... Just as a Brahmin would never disclose a sacred hymn under any duress to someone ineligible."
"After the two-month ultimatum passes, I shall be cut up...indeed my condition will be that of a thief at the gallows awaiting his sentence of death by hanging at the imminent break of dawn."
नूनं स कालो मृगरूपधारी मामाल्पभाग्यां लुलुभे तदानीम् ।
यत्रार्यपुत्रौ विससर्ज मूढा रामानुजं लक्ष्मणपूर्वजञ्च ॥
"Verily, it was my wretched Fate that came in the form of that golden deer and tempted me, one who was bereft of luck. Otherwise, would I have sent away both those great warriors, Sri Rama and Lakshmana?"
"Oh Sri Rama, how tragic that you don't know that I am going to be killed by these rakshasas!"
Sita imagines the worst. It is amply clear that all her rectitude and fidelity to Sri Rama, fasts and penances, have failed to protect her. Sri Rama will now go back without her after his period of banishment is over, and settle down happily with other beautiful women in Ayodhya. Indeed, what else is likely?
Sita decides to take her own life. Alas! Nobody will be gracious and give her poison. She can't find any weapon around to deal herself a death blow. Burning in grief, she leans onto the Shimshupa tree. There is one way... she can use her long tresses of hair as a hanging cord! As she readies herself, thoughts of Sri Rama, Lakshmana, and her own family at Mithila flood her. And suddenly a number of good omens, unmistakable and emphatic, hit her.
***
तस्याः शुभं वाममरालपक्ष्मराजीवृतं कृष्णविशालशुक्लम् ।
प्रास्पन्दतैकं नयनं सुकेश्या मीनाहतं पद्ममिवाभिताम्रम् ॥
"That long-tressed Sita's left eye, looking so beautiful with white and black, which was ringed with extremely lovely long eyelashes, throbbed unmistakably, like a red lotus gently stirred by a jumping fish."
Sita's left shoulder, comely and often smeared in the past with exquisite perfumes by her beloved, throbbed too. As also her very shapely left thigh. These signs were enough to convince her that she would soon be reunited with Sri Rama! Sita's garment slipped a bit as she stood up, her mind full of better thoughts. Her mind was like some seed, forlorn and tormented by heat and dust for long, suddenly finding itself bathed in a welcome and auspicious rain shower.
Sita shone with good cheer as the rising full moon!
॥ श्रीरामजयम् ॥
