October 17 - Sarga 13 of Sundara Kanda.
The sarga features a beautiful soliloquy by Hanuman. The gamut of emotions and thoughts he expresses shows his heroic temperament as well as it grants a wonderful poetic insight into the situation.
We have not heard yet what Sita has been going through either in body or mind. Who better than Hanuman then to emote the range of emotions the whole world would be feeling for Sita!? God bless Valmiki!
***
Even the indefatigable Hanuman is at a loss to understand how Sita cannot be spotted anywhere. Valmiki says Hanuman leapt like a streak of lightning from wall to pillar to building to terrace everywhere, looking for Sita.
Then Hanuman launches into a soliloquy describing the welter of thoughts that rush through his mind.
इह सम्पातिना सीता रावणस्य निवेशने ।
आख्याता गृध्रराजेन न च सा दृश्यते न किम् ॥
किं नु सीताऽथ वैदेही मैथिली जनकात्मजा ।
उपतिष्ठेत विवशा रावणेन हृता बलात् ॥
उपर्युपरि सा नूनं सागरं क्रमतस्तदा ।
विचेष्टमाना पतिता समुद्रे जनकात्मजा ॥
"Sita was seen by that king of birds, Sampati, as being held captive in this Ravana's palace. Then why am I unable to discover her?
"Is it that Sita, daughter of Videha, Maithili, succumbed to the evil intentions of Ravana who abducted her?
"Or perhaps she fell into the ocean, totally frightened out of her wits on beholding that sight of a mighty, billowy, endless, ocean? Or maybe Ravana, as he fled at great speed to escape Sri Rama's arrows, lost his grip over Sita? Or Sita herself, while constantly wriggling in his cruel grasp, dropped down to drown in the ocean?"
"Other possibilities - has Sita been eaten up by this evil Ravana in utter rage? Or has Sita died of uncontrollable grief crying constantly for Sri Rama, Lakshmana, Ayodhya? Has she been imprisoned in a secret cage? Alas! What a tragedy that such a delicate, slender-waisted, Sita fell into the clutches of the demoniac Ravana!"
Now Hanuman considers how he can carry the news of "no news of Sita" to Sri Rama. That would be a blunder. The feverish imagination of Hanuman extrapolates a series of tragic events in case he does carry such a negative message:
"If I return to Kishkindha with no trace of success in finding out where Sita is, it will be the height of futility, with zero Purushartha (पुरुषार्थ stands for worthwhile human accomplishment.) My crossing the ocean, gaining entry into Lanka, and then searching every nook and corner for Sita, will be totally fruitless. How will Sri Rama, Lakshmana, and Sugriva take my failure? What will they say?"
गत्वा तु यदि ताकुत्स्थं वक्ष्यामि परुषं वचः ।
न दृष्टेति मया सीता ततस्यक्ष्यति जीवितम् ॥
"If I go and break this heartless news to Sri Rama that I did not see Sita, he will instantly give up his life in grief. He will not be able to withstand such bad news. Lakshmana will then succumb, unable to see his brother Sri Rama who is his very life, dead. Hearing of their death. Bharata will soon follow. The mothers Kausalya, Sumitra, and Kaikeyi will then lay down their lives. Sugriva will take his life unable to face his broken promise. The entire Ikshwakus and vanaras will perish! Surely Ruma will die. Tara, already grieving over Vali's death, will die. Angada won't survive this crisis. Ayyo!"
"The only way to ensure that they all will survive is not to return from Lanka, but to keep them hoping and guessing that Hanuman will soon return with some good news."
Hanuman decides to do penance. He will not eat or drink anything except what falls by itself into his mouth from a tree. He will stay on the seaside and cast his body off. Maybe he should enter a funeral pyre on the seashore so his ashes will be washed away. or perhaps sit without food and drink and wait for his body to become lifeless and become food for the scavenger birds and beasts. Or maybe simply drown himself.
सुजातमूला शुभगा कीर्तिमाला यशस्विनी ।
प्रभन्ना चिररात्रीयं मम सीतामपश्यतः ॥
"My good fortune, which began with bringing about the friendship between Sugriva and Sri Rama, and which continued famously with my successful leap across the ocean and entry into Lanka here, has now been shattered in this long night by my failing to find Sita."
Then a thought comes to Hanuman.
रावणं वा वधिष्यामि दशग्रीवं महाबलम् ।
काममस्तु हृता सीता प्रत्याचीर्णं भविष्यति ॥
"Or should I go and kill that mighty rakshasa Ravana!? It will be a fitting reply to his despicable act of abducting Sita."
'Or perhaps I shall lift him and carry him across to the feet of Sri Rama like they offer a sacrificial animal to Lord Shiva."
At last, Hanuman's mind turns to a positive stream of thought.
"No. No. I should search for Sita. I shall search again everywhere, repeatedly. What would Sri Rama have done, if I had brought him on my shoulders after the reassurance of Sampati? Sri Rama would surely have burnt down Lanka and its rakshasas unless he found Sita. "
Hanuman decides to continue the search, observing the strictest self-control over food, water, and rest.
"Oh, here is the Ashoka Vana! The celestial grove with so many trees! I have not searched here at all!"
Hanuman fervently prays to the Vedic deities, Adityas, Rudras, the Vasus, Ashwinis. He gets up.
नमोऽस्तु रामाय सलक्ष्मणाय देव्यै च तस्यै जनकात्मजायै ।
नमोऽस्तु रुद्रेन्द्रयमानिलेभ्यो नमोऽस्तु चन्द्राग्निमरुद्गणेभ्यः ॥
"My ardent prayers to Sri Rama, Lakshmana, and Sita, daughter of the great Janaka. My prayers to Shiva, Indra, Yama, and Vayu. My prayers to the moon, Agni the god of fire. the deities of the winds in eight directions."
Energized by his prayers, remembering Sugriva and offering his prayers to him, the son of the Wind-god, Hanuman, proceeds to Ashok grove. It is fiercely guarded by many rakshasas and seems a divinely beautiful place where even the wind blows gently.
Hanuman again silently prays to every god from Brahma downwards, remembers his sacred mission, with the abiding thought,
द्रक्ष्ये तदार्यावदनं कदान्वहम् "Oh, when will I set my eyes on the divinely beautiful face of the noble lady Sita!?"
***
॥ श्री रामजयम् ॥
