October 16 - Sargas 11 and 12 of Sundara Kanda.
Hanuman instantly regrets his mistake of thinking that the royal lady is Sita.
न रामेण वियुक्ता सा स्वपितुमर्हति भामिनी ।
न भोक्तुं नाप्यलङ्कर्तुं न पानमुपसेवितुम् ॥
नान्यं नरमुपस्थातुं सुराणामपि चेश्वरम् ।
न हि रामसमः कश्चिद् विद्यते त्रिदशेष्वपि ॥
"Of course, how could I have mistaken that royal lady for Sita!?! Having been separated from Sri Rama, Sita would never have got sleep. Or eaten dainty dishes that I have seen. Or dressed herself up with fine clothes and ornaments. And definitely not partaken of liquor and lay about being intoxicated.
"There is no other man comparable to Sri Rama even among gods, not even Indra is his equal. I find nobody to equal Sri Rama in his supreme qualities in the three worlds."
Dismissing the false alarm, Hanuman resumes his search in the inner palace and its pleasure chambers. Now he chances upon the dining hall arraigned with the choicest of a wide range of meats, fruits, delectable desserts, and lots of liquor. The scene is almost sense-numbing, the way Valmiki describes in detail the variety of meat dishes. A huge number of dishes, consumed partly or fully, lie scattered about. Many, many women of Ravana's inner quarters are lying about in various stages of intoxication and celebration.
Suddenly the supreme vanara, Hanuman, is troubled by a persistent thought. Has he not transgressed the moral code by intruding into the privacy of another man's harem and seeing at such close quarters all those women, in states of dress and undress and expressing the gay abandon of being by themselves away from another man's eyes?
He has to assuage his own feelings by explaining to himself that he is not here with any passion or sensual desire. He is on a mission to search for a woman who has been abducted.
न हि मे परदाराणां दृष्टिर्विषयवर्तिनी ।
न तु मे मनसा किञ्चिद् वैकृत्यमुपपद्यते ॥
"Of course, I have not looked at the wives of another man with any sensual desire or interest. The proof is that my mind has not been tempted in any way by all these sights of passionate celebrations nor by seeing thousands of beautiful women asleep."
***
Now another thought assaulted Hanuman.
स चिन्तयामास ततो महाकपिः
प्रियामपश्यन् रघुनन्दनस्य ताम् ।
ध्रुवं न सीता ध्रियते यथा न मे
विचिन्तितो दर्शनमेति मैथिली ॥
सा राक्षसानां प्रवरेण मैथिली
स्वशीलसंरक्षणतत्परा सती ।
अनेन नूनं प्रति दुष्टकर्मणा
हता भवेदार्यपथे परे स्थिता ॥
"Then Hanuman, the great vanara, started to think how he had failed to discover Sita, beloved of Sri Rama, in spite of searching everywhere so thoroughly. Perhaps she had been harassed by Ravana, the king of rakshasas, as she was unflinching and unrelenting in her vow of chastity and purity, and finally, he had put her to death in frustration? Then perhaps she has ascended to heaven befitting someone of her impeccable character?"
***
Hanuman is very distressed. He remembers Sampati's words that Sita was surrounded by terrible rakshasis. They must have tortured her. Alas!
"I have failed in the mission. Our vanara army has spent so much time already on this mission. Sugriva will give me extreme punishment. It is not that I have not searched- I have looked literally everywhere in Ravana's palace but in vain. What will the vanaras say when I return with no success? Again our fate will be fasting unto death. What will Jambavan say? Angada say?"
Hanuman reaches into his innermost resources of courage and determination. He shakes himself firmly out of such despondency.
अनिर्वेदो हि सततं सर्वार्थेषु प्रवर्तकः ।
करोति सफलं जन्तोः कर्म यच्च करोति सः ॥
"Getting rid of despondency is always a precondition for accomplishing one's objectives. Only someone who pursues his tasks relentlessly will meet with success."
Hanuman again goes around all of Ravana's palace, searching thoroughly again in every place including bed chambers and dining halls and hallways and private spaces. But no sign of Sita. Naturally, Hanuman is despondent again.
***
॥ श्रीरामजयम् ॥
