August 18 - Sargas 44 and 45 of Aranya Kanda.
Two short sargas that tell a whole story of what happened vs. what might have been. As the poet says,
The Moving Finger writes; and, having writ,Moves on: nor all thy Piety nor WitShall lure it back to cancel half a Line,Nor all thy Tears wash out a Word of it.
***
बद्धासिधनुरादाय प्रदुद्राव यतो मृगः ।
तं स्म पश्यति रूपेण द्योतयन्तमिवाग्रतः ॥
With his sword, his famous bow curved in three places, and quivers full of arrows, Sri Rama pursued the deer wherever he went, as the glittering deer darted off ahead.
The deer ran out of his reach, hiding and reappearing repeatedly, drawing Sri Rama farther and farther away in the forest. This hide and seek went on for some time. Then Sri Rama decided that enough was enough. He picked up an extremely sharp arrow given by Brahma himself and aimed it at the deer. The arrow hissed as it went and pierced the deer.
व्यनदद् भैरवं नादं धरण्यामल्पजीवितः ।
म्रियमाणस्तु मारीचो जहौ तां कृत्रिमां तनुम् ॥
"Crashing to the ground, with his life ebbing away, Mareecha gave a monstrous scream as he abandoned his deer form. He was seen by Sri Rama to be a huge rakshasa."
Mareecha remembered that Ravana was waiting to abduct Sita, and he had been instructed to lure Lakshmana also away from the hermitage.
स प्राप्तकामाज्ञाय चकार च ततः स्वनम् ।
सदृशं राघवस्येव हा सीते लक्ष्मणेति च ॥
" Knowing the moment had come, the rakshasa uttered a cry that rang through the forest, uttering in a voice mimicking Rama's, the words, "Oh Sita, Oh Lakshmana!" "
Sri Rama at once realized what had happened. The warning that Lakshmana had sounded had come true. He had just killed Mareecha but they all had fallen into a well-set trap.
Thinking what must have passed through Sita's mind on hearing this cry of distress in his voice, and what must be happening back in the hermitage, Sri Rama shuddered in utter fright. Sri Rama hurried back towards the hermitage after killing a deer and taking its meat.
***
Sita heard that call of distress in a voice that she thought was Sri Rama's. She asked Lakshmana to go at once and find out what had happened. She feared that rakshasas had hurt Sri Rama badly and some calamity had occurred.
आक्रन्दमानं वने भ्रातरं त्रातुमर्हसि - "look Lakshmana, you should go immediately and save your brother who is crying out for your help in the forest. "
When Lakshmana stood firm, simply adhering to his brother's order, in spite of Sita's anguished cry to go and help Sri Rama, the worst possible thoughts flooded Sita's mind. She immediately concluded that Lakshmana was indeed an enemy and not a friend of theirs!
यस्त्वमस्यामवस्थायां भ्रातरं नाभिपद्यसे ।
इच्छसि त्वं विनश्यन्तं रामं लक्ष्मण मत्कृते ॥
लोभात् मत्कृते नूनं नानुगच्छसि राघवम् ।
व्यसनं ते प्रियं मन्ये स्नेहो भ्रातरि नास्ति ते ॥
"What, Lakshmana! Seeing that you are not interested in going to help your distressed brother, it is clear to me that you want him destroyed, just for getting me.
"It is clear to me that out of your lustful greed for me, you are not going to help Sri Rama. You seem happy at Rama's distress because you have absolutely no affection for your brother."
Sita went on to add that it was inexplicable that Lakshmana had come to the forest ostensibly only to serve and protect Rama but now was least interested in carrying out his duty. She burst into a flood of tears.
Lakshmana was tested to the limit. He said to Sita that he knew that there was no god or celestial or human or any other type of creature or any demon who could hurt Sri Rama. Nobody could defeat him in any encounter.
यो रामं प्रतियुध्येत समरे वासवोपमम् ।
अवध्यः समरे रामो नैवं त्वं वक्तुमर्हसि ॥
न त्वामस्मिन् वने हातुमुत्सहे राघवं विना ।
अनिर्वार्यं बलं तस्य बलैर्बलवतामपि ॥
"Oh lady, you ought to not speak thus. Whoever may meet Sri Rama in battle will find him to be as powerful as Indra himself. Sri Rama is simply indestructible in a battle."
"I do not wish to leave your side and my duty of protecting you when Sri Rama is also not here. I know for certain that Sri Rama's prowess is unexcelled by an enemy using any power."
Lakshmana told Sita that to him it was not Rama's voice they had heard. It would have been that demon who had mimicked his voice to mislead them. It was an illusion much like when a magician conjures the apparition of a city that doesn't exist. Rama had left a clear instruction to Lakshmana that protecting Sita was his sole duty. Since the killing of Khara and his army, they three had made many enemies in the forest and Lakshmana had notice all kinds of suspicious activities.
This riled Sita uncontrollably. With blood-shot eyes, she said very hurtful words:
"Oh Lakhmana, you are cruel and evil. How can you speak such words when Sri Rama is in terrible danger? No wonder people like you move about misleading others and going to any extent to harm their rivals. It is clear that you are in the employ of Bharata and here only to harm Rama.
"Know for sure that I have held Rama's hands (a metaphor for marriage in Hinduism). I am totally devoted to Rama, with his lotus-like eyes and the complexion of a blue lotus. I shall not ever be interested in another man. I shall not live even for a moment without Rama."
We should try and imagine Lakshmana's sentiments on hearing such words.
He just says, उत्तरं नोत्सहे वक्तुं दैवतं भवती मम "Dear lady, I choose not to respond to your harsh words. You are indeed divine to me (I see my god in you). It is unfortunate that women speak like this in this world, it is known to be their nature. Your words have pierced my ears like red-hot darts. They are unbearable."
Lakshmana now says something under extreme stress. "The forest and all its denizens are my witnesses. I swear I have no evil intentions. I am simply carrying out my brother's orders. By doubting me, O lady, you will go to ruin."
Sita says she will drown in the Godavari, set herself on fire, or consume poison if Sri Rama dies. That is her only course.
Lakshmana has to go. He prays to all the deities of the forest to protect Sita. He wishes Sita well. He wonders aloud if he will see Sita here in the hermitage when he returns with Sri Rama. Sita is crying uncontrollably.
***
॥ श्रीरामजयम् ॥
