November 15 - Sargas 55 and 56 of Sundara Kanda.
Hanuman goes into a mode of deep regret for having allowed himself to burn down Lanka in anger. Moreover, he is convinced even Sita would have been burnt to death, thereby destroying everything his trip was meant to achieve.
Thankfully, he sees happy omens and hears the celestials expressing that Sita alone has been untouched by the fire. Hanuman rushes to Sita, and bidding affectionate farewell and repeatedly instilling hope and courage in her, Hanuman goes to a mountain top and starts his return journey to Kishkindha.
***
Hanuman goes to the seashore and dipping his burning tail in the sea, quenches the fire. Then he looks over the remains of the conflagration that has burnt down Lanka. He is now quite shocked and distressed at the extent of violence he has embarked on. He feels that the entire act of setting Lanka on fire was totally unrighteous.
लङ्कां प्रदहता कर्म किंस्वित् कृतमिदं मया - "Alas! What a heinous act have I committed burning down Lanka!"
धन्याः खलु महात्मानो ये बुद्ध्या कोपमुत्थितम् ।
निरुन्धन्ति महात्मानो दीप्तमग्निमिवाम्भसा ॥
"Indeed, the truly noble people are those who are able to control with their intellect their anger even when provoked. They are able to quench their anger much like putting out a big fire by pouring water over it."
Hanuman's mind goes into overdrive. Indeed, an angry man would even kill his own elders and insult ascetics. An angry man loses his sense of what is worthy of being spoken and what should not be said. No act will seem too low to stoop to for an angry man.
धिगस्तु मां सुदुर्बुद्धिं निर्लज्जं पापकृत्तमम् ।
अचिन्तयित्वा तां सीतामग्निमिदं स्वामिघातकम् ॥
"Fie on me, a truly wicked, shameless and sinful actor in this situation. Without considering the safety of Sita, I have performed this heinous act of setting Lanka on fire, thereby totally betraying the interests of my master!"
Hanuman's mind is much like ours. It now paints the most dismal picture possible - Sita burnt alive, Sri Rama and Lakshmana dying in distress, Sugriva and the entire vanara army committing suicide, Bharata and everyone else in Ayodhya dying of sorrow, and the entire country of Ayodhya being orphaned and driven to catastrophe.
प्रथितं त्रिषु लोकेषु कपित्वमनवस्थितम्
"Of course, the fickleness of a monkey mind is well known in the three worlds."
Hanuman wants to commit suicide. Either drowning himself in the sea, or cutting up and feeding himself to sea creatures, and so on. There is no way he can face Sugriva after this.
Then a faint voice speaks up in Hanuman's mind. "The Fire-god spared me just because I was in the service of Sri Rama. Won't he also spare such a noble, divine, chaste, dedicated wife of Sri Rama like Sita?" Hanuman thinks that Sita herself has the ascetic power to consume and put out the Fire-god. So she would be safe.
Just then Hanuman hears charanas (travelling celestials) speaking in the skies to themselves - "Oh what a wonder! By her chastity and purity, Devi Sita alone has been spared by the Fire-god, who has burnt down everything else in Lanka! Look at that! Hanuman has done well to strike terror in the people of Lanka and has rightly destroyed the city of the evil Ravana."
Hanuman also sees many omens that augur well. So hope is kindled back in his breast. He rushes to Ashoka Vana. with a fervent prayer in his heart. Lo and behold, Sita is safe! She welcomes him with the greatest affection.
***
Sita now says the same thing as she said before. "Dear Hanuman, after you go away, I will feel very low and expect the worst. I cannot withstand this situation. So kindly stay on, hide somewhere, at least for a day more!"
"And Hanuman, how indeed do you think the vanara army will cross the ocean? It is impossible except for you, Garuda and the Wind-god! How will the glorious Sri Rama and Lakshmana come here with the army and teach a lesson to the rakshasas, and free me!? I have total trust in your powers, in your intelligence, and in your capabilities. Kindly tell me Hanuman, how will you arrange to bring over Sri Rama, Lakshmana, Sugriva and the army here?"
समाश्वासिहि भद्रं ते भव त्वं कालकाङ्क्षिणी ।
क्षिप्रं द्रक्ष्स्यसि रामेण निहतं रावणं रणे ॥
क्षिप्रमेष्यति काकुत्स्थो हर्ऋक्षप्रवरैर्युतः ।
यस्ते युधि विजित्यारीञ्छोकं व्यपनयिष्यति ॥
"Devi Sita, have immense faith. May all good happen to you. You should trust that everything will happen at the right time. You will see very soon Sri Rama coming and killing Ravana in battle. Sri Rama is going to arrive here very soon with the entire army of the best of vanaras and bears. For your sake, Sri Rama will conquer all in the battle, and remove your sorrow without a trace."
Thus reassuring Sita repeatedly, Hanuman, the son of the Wind-god, takes her leave.
***
Hanuman chose a mountain peak for the take-off. The mountain Arishta was filled with wonderful vegetation that draws much description from Valmiki. The clouds clothed it like a beautiful upper garment. As sun rays woke up the mountain, precious minerals and gems shone in the golden light. With the gurgling waters, it seemed that the mountain was chanting the Vedas in morning prayer. The tall deodar trees appeared like ascetics doing penance.
Hanuman ascended the peak. His weight crushed many stones that sprinkled down as powder. Reaching the northern tip on the peak, Hanuman readied himself.
As Hanuman took off, the mountain with all its vegetation and animals and birds sank down with a big sound. The celestials resting on the mountain escaped into the skies with their cries. The mountain was now levelled completely by the force of Hanuman's take-off.
Hanuman quickly rose high into the sky over the vast and dangerous ocean below.
***
॥ श्रीरामजयम् ॥
