॥ ॐ नमो भगवते वासुदेवाय ॥
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Forget Baahubali, RRR and Ponniyan Selvan. Here is a potboiler in the Srimad Bhagavatam itself - sex, violence, gods and demons, in equal proportion!
राजोवाच
बाणस्य तनयामूषामुपयेमे यदूत्तमः ।
तत्र युद्धमभूद्घोरं हरिशङ्करयोर्महत् ।
एतत्सर्वं महायोगिन् समाख्यातुं त्वमर्हसि ॥
T: King Parikshit asked, "Dear Sage Shuka, I remember this same Aniruddha wed also Baana Asura's daughter Usha if I remember right your earlier narrative!? Also, did you not say there was a terrific battle between Bhagavan Shankara himself with Lord Sri Krishna? Please tell me that story in full!"
This story covers two chapters 62 and 63.
Remember King Bali, blessed by Vamana Avatara after he gave three measures of land, i.e. literally the three worlds to Trivikrama? Out of his one hundred sons, Baana was the eldest and propitiated Bhagavan Shankara Shiva. Shiva thus granted him immense strength and a thousand arms! Baana regaled Shankara during his Tandava Natya by accompanying him on innumerable instruments with his one thousand powerful arms. Shiva was most pleased. Not only that, he also agreed to be the guardian and protector of Baana's capital city, named Shonitapura (literally Blood City!). When Baana exceeded decorum by bowing low to Shiva and saying, "Lord, you have given me these one thousand powerful arms, but I find no one my equal who can give me a worthy fight! I seem to be too strong for all creation! Can you please grant me a worthy opponent and a befitting battle for my arms?"
तच्छ्रुत्वा भगवान् क्रुद्धः केतुस्ते भज्यते यदा । त्वद्दर्पघ्नं भवेन्मूढ संयुगं मत्समेन ते ॥
T: Hearing this atrocious claim, an angry Shiva said, "So be it, Baana! Someone will come and give you a befitting battle, someone indeed MY equal!"
Now, Baana had this wonderful Blood City, where he employed even Indra and other gods as servants. He had a most beautiful daughter named Usha. Usha literally means the dew-filled dawn of exquisite freshness and beauty. So was Usha. One day, she dreamt of a most handsome hero coming and making love to her. She woke up startled and was never again her former simple self. Lost in the remembrance of his kisses and embraces, she pined for her dream lover. She had a close friend, Chitralekha, the daughter of Baana's minister Kumbhanda. Chitralekha was a Yogini with magical powers and great talent for drawing portraits! She saw the love lost Usha and asked, "My dear, whom are you besotted with?" Hearing how Usha knew him only in a dream, Chitarlekha offered to draw portraits of all worthy heroes in the three worlds, combining her Yogic insights and artistry, so Usha could identify her lover! Chitralekha drew the portraits of worthy gods, men and demons, and when she drew Aniruddha's portrait, Usha almost swooned saying, " Yes, Yes, this is he!" For Chitralekha, it was but a simple task to fly magically to Dwaraka, extract the heart-breakingly handsome Aniruddha (whose son was he- Pradyumna, an incarnation of Cupid himself!) and bring him to Usha. What followed is behind curtains for us, but both Aniruddha and Usha had the best of time ever between two lovers in her Antahpura.
Unfortunately, her impregnable quarter was guarded by strong men who noticed that Usha's appearance and demeanour were that of a married woman who had lost her virginity. They promptly went and reported to Baana that despite their castiron defences, someone had infiltrated the inner chamber and romantic heart of Princess Usha. A short while after that, Baana discovered Aniruddha and Usha in a lover's embrace in her chamber. When he was attacked by Baana's soldiers, Aniruddha (his brawn matching his beauty) took a Parigha and drove them all away after breaking their limbs and heads. Baana was in uncontrollable rage. using his Asuric power, he entrapped Aniruddha in Nagapasha and imprisoned him. Usha cried and cried and Aniruddha simply awaited his fate in prison.
श्रीशुक उवाच
अपश्यतां चानिरुद्धं तद्बन्धूनां च भारत । चत्वारो वार्षिका मासा व्यतीयुरनुशोचताम् ॥
नारदात्तदुपाकर्ण्य वार्तां बद्धस्य कर्म च । प्रययुः शोणितपुरं वृष्णयः कृष्णदेवताः ॥
अक्षौहिणीभिर्द्वादशभिः समेताः सर्वतोदिशम् । रुरुधुर्बाणनगरं समन्तात्सात्वतर्षभाः ॥
T: Sage Shuka continued: All Dwaraka was anxious after Aniruddha went missing for a whole four months of the rainy season. Then Sage Narada promptly came and informed Sri Krishna that Aniruddha had been abducted by his lover Usha and thereafter, her father King Baana had imprisoned him for his secret rendezvous in Blood City. Promptly, Sri Krishna, Balarama, and a huge army of Vrishnis went to Shonitapura to bring back Aniruddha, their darling little prince.
भज्यमानपुरोद्यानप्राकाराट्टालगोपुरम् । प्रेक्षमाणो रुषाऽऽविष्टस्तुल्यसैन्योऽभिनिर्ययौ ॥
बाणार्थे भगवान् रुद्रः ससुतैः प्रमथैर्वृतः । आरुह्य नन्दिवृषभं युयुधे रामकृष्णयोः ॥
आसीत्सुतुमुलं युद्धमद्भुतं रोमहर्षणम् । कृष्णशङ्करयो राजन् प्रद्युम्नगुहयोरपि ॥
ब्रह्मादयः सुराधीशा मुनयः सिद्धचारणाः । गन्धर्वाप्सरसो यक्षा विमानैर्द्रष्टुमागमन् ॥
T: Attacked by Sri Krishna's massive army, Blood City's fortifications, gardens and mansions lay shattered. Baana responded with his mighty army, and Lord Shiva himslef came with Karttikeya and his Ganas to defend Baana's city as promised before. What followed was a bloody fierce battle and indeed, the battle between Sri Krishna aka Maha Vishnu and Lord Shiva aka Shankara was unmissable so Brahma and the gods and sages assembled in the skies to watch this divine battle!
पृथग्विधानि प्रायुङ्क्त पिनाक्यस्त्राणि शार्ङ्गिणे । प्रत्यस्त्रैः शमयामास शार्ङ्गपाणिरविस्मितः ॥
ब्रह्मास्त्रस्य च ब्रह्मास्त्रं वायव्यस्य च पार्वतम् । आग्नेयस्य च पार्जन्यं नैजं पाशुपतस्य च ॥
मोहयित्वा तु गिरिशं जृम्भणास्त्रेण जृम्भितम् । बाणस्य पृतनां शौरिर्जघानासिगदेषुभिः ॥
T: Bhagavan Sri Krishna countered Shiva's Pinaka bow's arrows with his own Sharnga bow's arrows. Each weapon launched by Shuiva was countered and nullified by Sri Krishna. Brahmastra was met with Brahmastra. Vayavya (Hurricane) with Parvata (Mountain). Agneya (Fire) with Parjanya (Water) and Pashupata itself with Narayanastra! Finally, Bhagavan Sri Krishna launched Jruhmbhanastra, which made Lord Shiva yawn sleepily and give way for Sri Krishna to attack Baana. Karttikeya and the Ganas also were scattered away. Sri Krishna now attacked Baana with his Chakra and arrows.
धनूंष्याकृष्य युगपद्बाणः पञ्चशतानि वै । एकैकस्मिन् शरौ द्वौ द्वौ सन्दधे रणदुर्मदः ॥
तानि चिच्छेद भगवान् धनूंषि युगपद्धरिः । सारथिं रथमश्वांश्च हत्वा शङ्खमपूरयत् ॥
तन्माता कोटरा नाम नग्ना मुक्तशिरोरुहा । पुरोऽवतस्थे कृष्णस्य पुत्रप्राणरिरक्षया ॥
T: Baana was no mean warrior. He used five hundred bows with his one thousand arms and shot a torrent of twosome gruesome arrows simultaneously at Shauri Hari Sri Krishna. Sri Krishna destroyed those arrows with his own counter-arrows. He also destroyed Baana's chariot, horses, and charioteer. He then blew the Panchajanya which seemed to shatter the world with its sound.
Just then, Baana's mother, a demoness by the name of Kotaraa, came and stood between Sri Krishna and Baana, naked and ghastly in her appearance. Sri Krishna ceased his attack momentarily to respect a woman.
विद्राविते भूतगणे ज्वरस्तु त्रिशिरास्त्रिपात् । अभ्यधावत दाशार्हं दहन्निव दिशो दश ॥
अथ नारायणो देवस्तं दृष्ट्वा व्यसृजज्ज्वरम् । माहेश्वरो वैष्णवश्च युयुधाते ज्वरावुभौ ॥
T: As a last resport, Shiva now launched Trishiras Jwara, a biological nuclear weapon that destorys everything in all the ten directions. Bhagavan countered with the Vaishnava Jwara which nullified it.
बाहुषु छिद्यमानेषु बाणस्य भगवान् भवः । भक्तानुकम्प्युपव्रज्य चक्रायुधमभाषत ॥
T: Bhagavan now systematically cut off almost all the arms of Baana with his Chakra. Then Lord Shiva interceded. He prayed to Bhagavan Sri Krishna who was none other than Maha Vishnu.
श्रीरुद्र उवाच
त्वं हि ब्रह्म परं ज्योतिर्गूढं ब्रह्मणि वाङ्मये । यं पश्यन्त्यमलात्मान आकाशमिव केवलम् ॥
यन्मायामोहितधियः पुत्रदारगृहादिषु ।उन्मज्जन्ति निमज्जन्ति प्रसक्ता वृजिनार्णवे ॥ ४०॥
देवदत्तमिमं लब्ध्वा नृलोकमजितेन्द्रियः । यो नाद्रियेत त्वत्पादौ स शोच्यो ह्यात्मवञ्चकः ॥
अयं ममेष्टो दयितोऽनुवर्ती मयाभयं दत्तममुष्य देव ।
सम्पाद्यतां तद्भवतः प्रसादो यथा हि ते दैत्यपतौ प्रसादः ॥
T: "Bhagavan! You are ParaBrahman, You are the Secret Light that illumines Brahma and everything else including speech. Those who are able to perceive the immaculate Soul within themselves perceive Your Universal Truth as vast as the sky. Everyone is deluded by Your Maya. That is why they get entangled in "My wife, my home" and so on. They keep floating and sinking in the ocean of troubles thus! In this God-created world, the one who does not discover the solution and surrender to You is indeed pitiable as one who deceived himself!"
"Lord, this Baana is my devotee. Kindly spare him. He has been given my word of protection. Let him receive Your grace, Bhagavan! After all, I know how You graced Bali, the King of Asuras before!"
श्रीभगवानुवाच
यदात्थ भगवंस्त्वं नः करवाम प्रियं तव । भवतो यद्व्यवसितं तन्मे साध्वनुमोदितम् ॥
चत्वारोऽस्य भुजाः शिष्टा भविष्यन्त्यजरामरः । पार्षदमुख्यो भवतो नकुतश्चिद्भयोऽसुरः ॥
T: Bhagavan Sri Krishna smiled and responded, "Sure, Bhagavan Shiva. Know that this battle was necessary to rid the earth of its burden of large armies who fight meaninglessly. I agree with your decision to grace Baana. Indeed, I have spared four arms of his which shall be ageless and deathless so Baana Asura can rule well."
Thus spared, Baana now approached Sri Krishna reverently. he was pleased to give Usha in marriage to Aniruddha. The Wedding Procession now started for Dawraka.
स्वराजधानीं समलङ्कृतां ध्वजैः सतोरणैरुक्षितमार्गचत्वराम् ।
विवेश शङ्खानकदुन्दुभिस्वनैरभ्युद्यतः पौरसुहृद्द्विजातिभिः ॥
य एवं कृष्णविजयं शङ्करेण च संयुगम् । संस्मरेत्प्रातरुत्थाय न तस्य स्यात्पराजयः ॥
T: "The wedding party of Aniruddha and Usaha entered under the guidance of Bhagavan Sri Krishna the city of Dawraka decorated with flags, buntings, festoons, flowre garlands and celebratory music of conches and drums, with warm reception from its citizens and priests."
"Whoever reads this holy story of the victory of Sri Krishna and the battle between Sri Krishna and Shiva or even remembers it on waking up in the mornings will never face defeat."
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