Unknown to the world, a silent referendum has begun about the unlivability of Bangalore. It is called BLEXIT.
Not many know that a city which had dozens of lakes, tree-lined avenues, hardly any houses with ceiling fans, and a population nudging 30 lakhs even 25 years ago, has now become a concrete monstrosity of 150 lakh people, struggling for air, water, and movement even at a snail's pace within the city. People with seven figure salaries are struggling for hours in fancy cars as they are stuck in traffic. Some rich techies have created a parallel universe in Whitefield after replicating all the city woes there. People are zipping around for several kilometers on fancy circular NICE roads and living in god-forsaken suburbs bravely anticipating a new afterlife away from the urban snarl and sprawl. Meanwhile BLEXIT offers some hope.
Home to Godmen, Godly megabillionaires, modern badshahs of e-commerce, Bangalore can afford for these people a world suspended in the sky and offering every kind of luxury and comfort. But these super-rich still crave for Vidyarthi Bhavan Dosa and MTR Rava idli. They want to shop in malls and eat a lot of popcorn noisily watching some loud movie. That means back to the snarled-up sprawl! Schools, colleges and offices also feature in their lives and that is a problem.
So BLEXIT has a menu of five suggestions:
1. All vehicles with 2000 cc+ engines should be banned from plying on Bangalore roads.
2. All super rich should go and live 50 km outside Bangalore and manage their business.
3. All bodyshop software companies should relocate to North Karnataka.
4. All even-number private vehicles should ply only in even-numbered Christian calendar years like 2016,2018 etc. All odd number vehicles can ply only in 2017,2019 etc.
5. All those who have moved into Bangalore after 1991 from outside the state will be given a lump sum (multiple of their declared income) under BLEXIT Bhagya with an upper cap of ₹1 crore for immediately leaving the city. They should register their Aadhaar particulars at a specific website to begin the process. Time frame 31 October 2016.
If you're in favour of BLEXIT, dial this number 1-800-BLEXIT and affix the respective numbers of the options listed which you agree with.
