Stop Press August 15, 2013
The President of India is pleased to promulgate an ordinance today to create a series of elite institutions under the name Indian Institute of Idli (III). These institutions will become the driving force behind India's march to world dominance in the next 1000 years. Obviously III's will far surpass the name and fame of the erstwhile IIT's, which were created to manufacture a number of bright engineering graduates to migrate to the United States and other countries to earn a lot of money and send their parents and grand parents monthly maintenance so that they could eat their idlis with full satisfaction back home knowing that their children and grand children viz. the IIT star alumni would be eating Idlis in their respective countries in all kinds of weather like snow, sleet, sun, and so on.
World renowned economists, scientists, movie stars and popular writers like Chetan Bhagat have hailed the government's move with whole-hearted appreciation for the wonderful development plan of the UPA government. The BJP under NaMo has welcomed the move stating that this idea was mooted by Vajapayee in 2002 as the only way for India to claim its past glory of the Vedic age by going back to its roots and encouraging people to switch from modern western junk foods to wholesome pristine Idlis. NaMo has also commented that Mahatma Gandhi, Gujarat's gift to India, was an ardent believer in Idli as it was the only cuisine which upheld the timeless values of Truth and Non-violence.
Buddha, Mahaveera, Hanuman and Rama have been mentioned in Indian scriptures as being very fond of Idlis. On the other hand, among rakshasas and asuras, 'Idli' was a pejorative term since they equated Idli to weak, ineffectual and indecisive men whose lives were filled with zeroes (Indian ancients were equally familiar with Idli and Zero, you see).
Jairam Ramesh, an IIT alumnus himself, has stated that III is a masterly idea under the leadership of Sonia Gandhi. She has stated that Idli has been documented even in Roman civilization as an import from India.
Space Scientists have taken time off from India's Mars Lander mission to list the technological benefits of Idlis:
- Idli is the most efficiently cooked food article in the world.
- The soaking, grinding, fermenting and subsequent batch steaming makes the carbon footprint of Idli the least in the world as the different steps increase efficiency.
- India's surplus rice and lentil production, 30% of which is being lost in poor storage and transportation methods, can be better leveraged via the Aadhar scheme by transferring the required grains to citizens directly with minimum wastage and by efficient packaging of requisite quantities.
- CFTRI Mysore has developed techniques to prepare good Idlis with even lower quality rice and dal.
- Marwari traders have reported that good Idlis can be made even with 10% adulteration with stones since the grinding stone will take care of pulverization.
- III's will teach technology, science, art, history and geography of Idlis to all the students, enrolled through an open policy of admissions with no caste, creed o gender bias.
- The education cycle of 16 years will be reduced to eight years, according to the plan proposed by NaMo.
- III's will create new methods of preparing Idlis using efficient solar cookers.
- The Idli batter grinders will use geothermal engines and reduce the carbon footprint further.
- India's (especially Gujarat's) malnutrition problem will go away since ONLY NINE well-made Idlis of good composition and texture will meet all the daily nutritional needs of Individual adult males and females.
- Idlis will not be served plain but with a variety of accompaniments like chutneys and pickles which will be supplied directly via Aadhar scheme from mass-production factories which will also employ alternative forms of energy.
- Idlis will replace costly and unhealthy items like sweets and chocolates during festivals like Diwali and Christmas.
Please read the Idli suprabhata (https://rsachi.blogspot.com/2010/10/idli-suprabhata.html)
