Monday, May 28, 2012

Hare Krishna - a Double Treat




ತಪ್ಪದೇ ಲಾಲ್ಬಾಗ್ಲಿ ಕಾಲ ಹರಿಸುತ್ತಾ
ಪ್ರತಿ ಭಾನುವಾರ ಮೈ ಕರಗಿಸೋ ಪ್ರಯುಕ್ತ
ನಂತರ ಹೊರಟೆನು ದೋಸೆ ಮನೆಯತ್ತ
ಹೊಟ್ಟೆ ಪೂಜೆಗೆ ನಿಂತ ನಾ ಮಹಾಭಕ್ತ.

ನೂರಕ್ಕೂ ಮೀರಿರೋ ದೋಸೆಯಾ ಪಟ್ಟಿ.
ಅದಕೆ ಸೇರಿದ ಹಾಗೆ ಚಾಟ್ಗಳಾ ಬುಟ್ಟಿ.
ತಿಂಡಿಗೆ ತಿನಿಸಿಗೆ ಇಲ್ಲಿ ಏನೂ ಕೊರೆ ಇಲ್ಲ.
ಜೇಬಿಗೆ ಕತ್ತರಿ ಬೀಳುವುದೂ ಇಲ್ಲ.

ವಾರದಲಿ ಪಟ್ಟ ಆ ಪಾಡಿಗೆಲ್ಲ ಫಲವು.
ಖಾಲಿ ದೋಸೆಯ ರುಚಿಯೇ ಮಾನವನ ನಲಿವು.
ಈ ನನ್ನ ರಗಳೆ ಒಂದು ಹರೇ ಕೃಷ್ಣ ಮಂತ್ರ.
ಹರಿ ಪ್ರದಕ್ಷಿಣೆ ಮೊದಲು ಪ್ರಸಾದ ನಂತ್ರ.

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Thursday, May 24, 2012

Guaranteed: Brain Softener




What with the Indian Rupee touching 56/- to a US Dollar; lots of scams; inflation and unemployment declaring a war on the Indian government; and other unsolvable problems like finding a consensus Presidential candidate, we could well have predicted it: the top think-tank of Indian leadership has hatched a secret export-oriented plan that will fetch literally billions of dollars. Also, no MP will go on a fast about it, as this scheme will be more successful and less controversial than IPL.
The scheme is simple. The world is fed up of stories of military and police excesses in interrogating and 'mind-bending' deviant or terrorist characters. There ought to be no more shock and horror for the shaky leaders found out in sting operations by avaricious media on Guantanamo etc. And just think.. there are literally milions of such characters whom the governments want to take care of, so that they don't cause any more trouble. at a rough count, some 25 million in Africa, some 100 million in troubled parts of Central Asia and the Middle East, and lots more in India and China. I am not even counting US and Europe and Russia and Latin America yet.
What the world needs is a safe and effective 'mind bender' or 'brain softener', guaranteed to destroy these uncooperative human minds with least effort and bloodshed.
Well, come to India then!
Come to our shining incredible India. We will put you up in a nice 3/4/5/7 star hotel. Well first time it will be you, and if you survive the experience and want your worst enemies to suffer such experience, then pay us good old USD's and we will guarantee the experience:

  1. The culprit will be hosted in a nice AC hotel room.

  2. He will be tied to the TV remote.

  3. He will watch Indian cable TV for 24 hours a day.

  4. He can surf any channel, since almost ALL channels have the same bilge. (That's some quality control and Censor Board effectiveness for you),

  5. He can order room service and eat Goby Manchurian, Masala Peanuts, and really creamy and heavy north Indian dishes with rice or nan any number of times a day.

  6. Nobody will answer any calls for help.

  7. No Internet or Mobile as these are mischievous portals to freedom and trouble. (Ask Sibal.)



After 3 days of non-stop watching of Indian TV, the human being will be destroyed to bits. He will dream feverishly of ugly and sweaty characters constantly jumping around in scenes like the shot above, with some miscellaneous humans jumping in sync in the background.
The music will be totally inane, with loud drums and meaningless repetitions of words like Dil, Pyar, Mohabbat, Dhadak Dhadak, Chutak Chutak etc.
He will suffer big bouts of indigestion, but will be too mindless to do anything about it.
He will be constantly fantasising about ticker tape ads for instant hair growth, slimming in six days, Buy One Vacuum Cleaner and Get One Free, Kuber Yantra, Yog Shibir, Learn Kriya Yoga by Post etc.
He will learn to listen to erudite folks screaming at each other in seven PIP windows on Prime Time Debate on issues such as which is a bigger crime, rape or murder. The moderator, with long eyelashes and cascading hair, or sometimes a heavy suit and tie, will pretend to interject and close the debate in 20 minutes or so. Meanwhile a number of ads will urge the viewer to buy 3G Idea or such stating that 3G is a sure way to avoid making babies or a means to enjoy free IPL watching in after-life.
This method of torture will surely soften any brain and yield quick results, with no blood shed and also earn India good Forex.

Take care, be happy. Enjoy 3 days and 4 nights free stay in Highlight Hotel with scenic views and excellent airport transfers. Unlimited Cable TV and Gobi Manchurian.Please pay 100% in advance as your sanity will be suspect after the stay.


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Saturday, May 19, 2012

Amazing iPad Photo Apps



Pro HDR is a camera app which can create an 8 MP photo on iPad 3 by taking two photos with different exposures and then generating a fused HR image.
SnapSeed is a photo processing app that gives amazing control over individual areas of a photo in addition to a very user-friendly interface.
See this result....a photo taken on a desultory afternoon in my not so bright room. Truly amazing.....
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A Listless Wait






A listless morning on a May Saturday. Will it rain today? What shopping, eating, roaming is on the cards? What IPL tamasha is in store? What else......?

Listless waiting marks my life. Have you thought how much our technology world has added to our listlessness? Waiting for downloads, googling for news,surfing channels, wheeling through iPod tracks, scanning FB, Twitter, waiting for others to like our posts...a marked listlessness, a sure sign of utter boredom desperate for some excitement...not unlike old neighbours prying into the neighbourhood windows hoping to catch some action.

We read in the epics how Rama waited out 14 years in the forest. No real action except some rakshasa battles and an abduction. And some monkey business. That's all. It seems he did not even get to listen to stories from sages like Yudhisthira did. Not to mention that his brothers and wife gave the latter more colourful episodes to recall later.

In Bhagavadgita, Krishna says that the realized one is indifferent to goings-on around him. There is no more that looking outward for happenings. No Dil Mange More. Of course these days the cult symbols of 'asking for more' like Sriman SRK get into all sorts of trouble. In fact all the news around us instruct us constantly that greed and avarice and lust always lead to trouble. But that seems to be no deterrent as we are also equally beset with bombardments of how we should seek more...male face whitening creams, herbal oils that make hair grow on even old baldies, and 'eat all you can' buffets. Buy One and Get One Free culture.

But the corollary to asking for more is waiting. Listless waiting. Not waiting for the rain clouds to bring news of your long lost beloved. Not waiting like Shabari. Not waiting for your loved ones to come back after decades of wandering away. But waiting for things to happen to fulfill your unstated, undeciphered, vague, amorphous, ambiguous, inexplicable, desire for more.

Sorry. Even God can't fathom what I want. It seems to apply to all our listless waiting.

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Saturday, May 5, 2012

My cup of coffee




There is a reason I put this picture here, rather than that of only a frothy stainless steel tumbler. South Indian coffee is a religion, and just as you don't understand much of any religion by merely visiting a temple, you don't understand our passion for coffee by just seeing the tumbler or even sipping our coffee a bit.
To make you understand how ingrained our passion is, let me tell you of a visit to Srirangapatna about 50 years ago. My mother was a traditional lady who did not even drink water taken from anywhere outside our home. But that day, after the amblings around the temple town, in the hot afternoon, she needed her coffee fix. Not knowing anybody in that place, not of course ever going to drink coffee in a restaurant, we bought coffee powder, a vessel(?), milk, sugar, and made coffee on the roadside by burning dry leaves and sticks. Finally my mother got her drink of a darkened suboptimal concoction from a blackened vessel, but that was enough of a fortifying fix to continue the trip.
Coffee is to us what soma rasa might be to gods or wine to nabobs. Or scotch and rum to soldiers and sailors. Or beer to Germans, Britishers and Aussies.
I recollect the heady aroma of coffee in the trade-fair grounds in Saba Saba Fair in 1976. That was my first trip abroad and I was representing Government of India in the Tanzania Fair. Like a homing bird, or Captain Haddock to his bottle, I ran towards where the coffee was brewing. It made my day to drink a strong brew, and my delight was to know how coffee was a passion all over Africa and Arabia. In fact they explained how East African economies sorely depended on coffee exports.
I confess my attendance at International conferences is somewhat motivated by the thought of those shiny copper coffee machine stalls that generous trade booths install, where you can get a fresh brew served by smiling attendants.
Some more evidence. Many years ago, when a Madrassi friend married a Delhi Punjabi girl, his mother packed all the pathos of her disapproval into a pithy question, "Can she make coffee?"
And my sister-in-law, who surely will remember this: a strappling teenager decades ago, she came rushing out of her hostel at Rukmani Devi's Kalakshetra on the first day, a picture of rude shock, shedding copious tears and exclaiming, "They don't serve coffee here!" Sagely advice alone didn't suffice, I had to take her and get her two ice-creams on Mount Road to make her stay back in her chosen dance school.
Coffee is more than anything else. It is only next to mother's milk for us.
I have found the American way of drinking 'Starbucks' watery, black, tepid coffee from large mugs totally incomprehensible. It's somewhat like a ritual that drains all feeling from a sacred experience and leaves behind only a nominal diluted remnant of the hoary tradition.
I find the ways of the Europeans who sip a spoonful of strong black coffee, sometimes laced with alcohol, also difficult to appreciate. Give me any time coffee with milk, and no sugar please! because I think it is sacrilegious to sweeten a drink with its unique taste straight from heaven. Make it from a fresh brew in a coffee filter, pour milk till it froths, and serve it in a tumbler or a cup. And make sure it is hot.
Wherever I have lived, in Hyderabad, Madras, Bombay, Delhi, Erlangen, Sydney, Singapore, Mysore, Bangalore....we first located the sacred spots where we could get good filter coffee powder. That determined our love for that place. It gave us after all meaning in life.

My dalliance with coffee machines, percolators, French presses, all have convinced me that there is only one right way- that of using a coffee filter. Of course even more fanatic purists say that coffee should be strained with a cloth. Well. That is how my father made coffee. And he drank it from a silver tumbler.
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Friday, May 4, 2012

Mausiqui ek Khoj




Dear friends,
Last Friday I saw a beautiful programme called Mausiqui ek Khoj at 4:30 pm on DD Bharati.

How I wish Charulata Mani's excellent "A Raga's Journey" could take shape like this one...

The programme is presented by Ustad Shujaat Khan every week and explains the nuances of a Hindustani raga, with beautiful video examples. Last Friday it was Tilak Kamod, which he described (rightly I think!) as a raga of "innocence". Shujaat is the son of Vilayat Khan, and Ustad Shahid Parvez, one of my favourites, is his cousin I think. The programme is beautiful and reminded me of the short and sweet "Sangeet Sarita" on Vivid Bharati that I used to enjoy in olden "golden" days.
I would now like to share with you a piece from my CD collection of Ustad Shahid Parvez here. It is a Thumri in Tilak Kamod... it is incredible:


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