A mother's tearful farewell to a daughter, Tambura

A mother's tearful farewell to her daughter, Tambura

Darling mine, your day of destiny, to make a new home, has come.
With sweet memories of childhood, take these words from mum.
From this home go, proud as a true Tambura, nothing humdrum.
Great composers, singers, Lakshmi and Saraswati offer you welcome.

Nevertheless, my child, these sagely words, you need.
In good and bad times, your mum's counsel, take heed.

Not all is rosy out there. Welcome and cuddled, happy days without a pause.
But soon, your voice may fall silent, and none will wonder what it was.

Your stately bearing, your perfect strings, that proud neck will languish.
Surrounded by tinny sounds in loud places, you may feel much anguish.

Your famed ears that, once tuned, stir you into heavenly resonance
Might mutely witness people playing with toys in pure dissonance.

None will dust you nor tune your shining strings.
You will sit quietly, amidst furniture and things.

Forget the warm embrace and caress of a true singer.
Your new family could just be too busy to lift a finger.

In your place they will play a cute IOS or Android app.
Or shiny discs or bread boxes that go on singing like crap.

And yet, my child, take heart, your music and heritage will shine!
Some day, some worthy will come, and gladly build you a shrine.

Advaita and duality

I find all this 'holier than thou' discussion of Advaita total B*** S***.

For those unfamiliar, Adi Sankara, a great mystic and spiritual master told the world categorically that there is only One (the concept that there is no second=Advaita), and that all our perceptions of the many around us (the perception of many things and beings and states =duality) is an illusion or Maya.

He also went around building temples, teaching beautiful prayers to people, the prayers being addressed to a number of male and female deities.

There is a large mass of brahmins called Smarthas who feel utterly superior chanting those prayers in all those temples and also claiming that Advaita is the only truth and science. They say all other beliefs are inferior.

After Sankara (circa 7 century CE), there came many Hindu saints who extolled prayer and said that this talk of Advaita is dangerous and man cannot ever be God.

Now what is all this fuss? It takes three simple statements to clarify the confusion.

As long as you, or me, or Sankara go around preaching, praying, and even arguing, it is a clear case of the many. You cannot deny it.

I cannot say I think as an Advaitin, sensibly, and yet pray to any God to give me happiness, wealth or wisdom. These are all affirmations of the many!

In Advaita, there is no prayer, no me and no God. There is only one infinite consciousness called SatChitAnanda. It is a state of being, even calling it experience is a distortion since experience is different from the experiencer!

That is an idea pretty easy to understand intellectually. There is the core of the issue. In spirituality, belief or intellectual understanding means NOTHING. SPIRITUALITY IS ALL ABOUT ACTUAL PERSONAL EXPERIENCE. One can experience love, prayer, sadness, heat and cold. SatChitAnanda is not an experience but a state of being. It is DEFINITELY NOT knowledge or belief!

All so-called Advaitins think that they understand it and guess what, they think they are right.. But the joke is on them, as in Advaita, there should be no thinker or thought! There is only an infifnite continuum of SatChitAnanda. Sankara perhaps got into that state and expressed later that he had got into that state.

When we do experience that state by disappearing totally, there is Advaita. Until then, there is God, there is Sankara, there is prayer, there is this blog, and duality!

Photo of Avalokiteshwara (Buddhist God of Compassion), Krishna and the Sufi Dervish in my drawing room showcase.

Wanted: Mother-in-Law

Dear prospective Mother-in-law,

Thanks for responding to my tweet so quickly. It just shows how sweet you're, so readily did you respond to my simple tweet:

Wanted Mother-in-Law.No encumbrances on either side, great life-style assured

I will surely come back with a date for a final interview as I have to short-list from the dozens of applications I got already. No worries, be assured you have good chances since I am impressed with your plethora of qualifications.

First of all, let me tell you about myself:

I am a well-paid techie manager in a big corporate in India's silicon and space city. It is also called Allergen and Pothole city because people worldwide are now thinking they can outsource all their requirements of allergens and potholes to our beautiful Kempegowda-ooru.

I don't have the encumbrances of husband, children etc. I have a number of servants who can participate in the Republic Day Parade representing Bengal, Orissa, Bihar, Assam, Coorg and Kerala.

I am a strict vegetarian, as long as it comes to breakfast specials like Idli, Vada and Dosa. By the way I hope you know how to make them as well as I like them. Don't wait for me for dinner as I am a party animal and have my own latch key and biometric scan key installed.

I expect you to do all home shopping, including buying the best organic foods and fanciest vegetables, rubbing shoulders with the multi-cultural shoppers of our neighborhood gated community. By the way the only cooking medium at home will be Extra Virgin Olive oil.

And oh, I forgot. I do have a mini orchid garden and keep three most wonderful dogs who regularly compete in the Lalbagh Dog Show in Scandinavian, Alpine and Exotic breeds. Don't be fooled, one of the fellows doesn't even look like a dog at all, he looks more like a cross between a cat and a mosquito and has no tail and doesn't bark. He just chews up my latest footwear and I have no complaints as I get to buy the latest fashion regularly! I expect you to buy the best English dog food for the threesome. They have their own well furnished kennels.

For all your shopping and entertainment, I will provide you a Platinum Debit Card. You can also use it for online purchases. You will have a nice computer less than 2 years old which I retired when I bought my latest tab/notebook hybrid modelled on a Ferrari.

You will have all the cultural and spiritual freedom you want, and can attend any bhajan group or chanting mela anywhere, our chauffeur will take you by prior arrangement. We can synchronize our vacations, you to Char Dham and me to my Char Dham :) Monaco, Vegas, Hong Kong and Dubai.

I expect, from the tone and tenor of your application, that you are a charming conversationalist and host. We will have garden-side barbecues twice a year, and I get a really swanky crowd. Don't worry, you can have your own separate dinner cooked then if you don't fancy beef, pork, and lots of alcohol. You can retire to your own quarters early if you find us a bit boisterous. You catch your latest soaps on your own separate 42 inch HD Bravia. 

Now I know you will ask a question. Why do I need a MiL. I will let you in on a secret. If we hit it off as a great team, we will be able to template our great arrangement and then presto! start an Outsourcing business for Mother-in-Laws! I am sure this outsourcing will do as well as the body-shopping contracts across IT, insurance and banking that Bangalore is famous for.

I expect USD 20 Mil VC soon. Well. That's nothing for the world's greatest Outsourcing idea from the world's oldest land of MiL's.

Why did I put that Bollywood Celebrity photo at the top!? They are a famous MiL&DiL couple and have just no competition...even Draupadi and Sita weren't exactly well known for their MiL success.

Bye for Now...

Aunty-ji, say my namaste to Chipps Uncle

I heard the word avuncular some years ago. I thought at that time that my younger friend  had used it out of respect. But I have since realised that my friend uses this word often since it sounds good to him and also that it means "uncle-like".

Are you uncle-like? Do you like uncles? Or do you prefer aunties? Or worse, are you Uncle-ji or Aunty-ji to someone? Or to all?

In the great cultural capital of Tamizhnaad, every human being runs the risk of being a Maama or Maami. Depending on who calls you that, it can be a loving address, an indifferent reference to your middle age, or downright an insult.

In the larger diaspora of Indians, worldwide celebrating various occasions constantly with samosas and laddus, EVERY human being worthy of attention and respect is an Uncle-ji or Aunty-ji. Or at least Uncle or Aunty. If you're not in that category, then it means that you are either too young to be taken seriously, or not human enough.

The worst situation arises for someone growing up abroad, stuck in the Indian circuit and yet interacting in environments like offices, universities, and societies outside of the Indian diaspora. You will perforce switch to Uncle and Auntying the moment you are in the cultural zone, and yet you have to quickly switch back to the idiom of gentlemen and ladies and polite addresses shorn of avuncular connections when you are in the company of those not yet privileged to be admitted into the Indian cultural zone. This causes distress and disjointed thoughts to some sensitive souls. A case in point is my niece PhDing and Uncle and Auntying in Cambridge.

She has written that she urgently needs to know when she will see the light at the end of the Uncle and Aunty tunnel. I supply the clarification below as best as a dear Uncle could:

1. The 21st century interpretation of the four Hindu stages of life (applies to all Indians, including Muslim and Christian and Buddhist brethren) is as follows:
• Chaddi or "Everyone is Uncle/Aunty" phase
• Buddy or "I will never be Uncle/ Aunty" phase
• Addi or "Oh No, everyone calls me Uncle/Aunty :(" phase
• Fuddy or "Am I glad everyone around loves me as Uncle/Aunty:)" phase

When you are a buddy, like my niece is, her worst nightmare is to be constantly addressed by pre-teens and precocious youngsters as Aunty when they are bumping into her as she carries her plate of samosa and laddu in a party or is politely telling them off as they pester her with pranks. I am afraid that before my niece knows what's going on, which is in a few years, she will enter the addi phase and notice that 80% of people address her as Aunty or Aunty-ji. From Samosa/laddu shop-keepers to Diwali mela gate staff.

How do you escape the karma of Uncle and Aunty-ism? Escape into a culture-less, alien world of all unmentionable dimensions which are totally miltating against your cultural roots, filled as your pores are with samosas, laddus, uncles and aunties.

To be, or not to be? Hamlet Uncle or Ophelia Aunty?

"How do I know I am doing Karma Yoga?"

Osho answers a question during his discourse on the Bhagavad Gita:

Listen to the discourse in Hindi here:

I provide a translation below:

A friend has asked this question: “I am pursuing the practice of Karma Yoga. But sometimes I am scared whether I am really performing Karma “Yoga”. I have no inclination to Bhakti or pursuit of Jnana. I continue to do my duties, but what is the yardstick that what I am doing is actually Karma Yoga and I am not fooling myself? What if my days are simply passing by? How do I know that my own right path is Karma Yoga?”
The question is significant, and the one who has asked it is not asking the question with mere curiosity but in earnest enquiry. Of course one can fool oneself. We have known that, of course we have been fooling ourselves for a long time. We have done it over many lives. So it’s a natural question for a seeker, whether he is simply doing work or practising Karma Yoga.
The first criterion: the work that you are doing after entrusting it to the Lord, is it giving you peace? The result of Karma Yoga is the same as that of meditation- it should give you peace. If you’re still restless, without peace, then you know it is not the right way. When you hand over all your work to the Lord and do it all in His service, then there is no question of restlessness. Peace has to perforce follow. Peace eludes me only when I have taken over the burden of responsibility on my shoulders, and think that I am the doer. If you discover on your path that your restlessness is giving way to peace, to a tranquillity that follows from giving over the reins to the Lord, then you can infer you are doing Karma Yoga.
The second criterion: whether you meet with success or failure, whether you find comfort or difficulty in your work, you will be equanimous. You have left everything to the Lord, and you don’t react whether you get positive or negative results, as you are merely the Lord’s vehicle. Then you have become a mere witness to your work. That gives equanimity, and if this feeling keeps growing, then you’re surely on the path of Karma Yoga. You’re not fooling yourself.
The third criterion: the moment you hand over the controls to the Lord, this world gets a dreamlike quality. It becomes a drama. Until then everything is so real, and you see yourself as the doer. When you give over the controls to Him, you become a spectator, not a doer. It’s like a cinema. Who are you? He is the director, and you are a mere audience. You are now only a watcher, an audience to this drama. It becomes a play. His play. You feel a sense of witnessing.
If these criteria are not satisfied, then it is clear it is a kind of self-deceit. If even after trying hard, you find the absence of these three qualities.. .peace, equanimity, witnessing, then you have to ask yourself if this is your true path. You may have to try other paths.
But what happens every day? People think they have to discharge their duties, and that is Karma Yoga. “With wife, children, we are stuck, we have to do our work or business , earn and consume…”…those who think of life as a series of unavoidable duties, you will see them carrying a burden of life. There is no joy. It is drudgery. Sometimes deep within they feel like murdering the people around. They wish they could have avoided this trap. This is not Karma Yoga. In fact it’s a kind of impotency. A state of Trishanku. These people cannot run away, and yet cannot enjoy the tasks on hand. There is no courage to give up and go away. And there is no meaning in going about this drudgery, as there is no attitude to do one’s duty with joy as God’s work.
This word duty stinks. If one loves one’s wife, and says, “I want to give my wife a beautiful home, a garden, get a car, give her a comfortable life. I love my children, I really want to provide for them, make their life full of laughter”- that person will not talk of duty. This is his joy, not mere duty. That is a good place to be in, because there is the joy of doing things for loved ones.
Then there is the other, who is going about his work as God’s work. He has joy, as we said before, from the word go.
In-between is the man who talks of duty and drudgery. He is stuck and almost dead. The time is ripe for him to take some drastic measures.
When you’re on the path of Karma Yoga, you will be feeling increasing bliss. When you’re going in the wrong direction, your restlessness increases.
It is perfectly Ok that you are full of the joy of providing for your loved ones. If you become happy by making your wife and children happy, that’s perfectly beautiful. Such a man knows how to be happy. And one day, when he turns towards God, he will get joy manifold. So that’s good too.
The man inbetween is in a sorry state. If you’re blissful, be assured that you are on the right path. If you’re depressed, feel stuck, be clear you’re headed in the wrong direction.
We should not take unhappy sadhus also as role models. If they are not blissful, they won’t like you to be joyous, they will say you are sinners. Save yourselves from such sadhus. If we mere mortals are getting joy from everyday tasks, and little things, shouldn’t these sadhus, on the path to God, be happy?  Bliss is the touchstone indeed!
If bliss, or joy, is missing, there is something wrong. Don’t listen to those who decry joy. Maybe you are not doing the right things, but it is your experience that you feel joy. What does that mean? A day will come that you feel bored with these trinkets and little things. You will then rise higher, and seek joy in higher things. The key thing is you’re in bliss, and you’re on the right path. Look at a little boy. He loves playing with stones. He won’t give them up and even goes to bed taking these stones. Don’t snatch away those stones saying they are nothing. That is a very wrong thing. You are not only taking away the boy’s stones, you are damaging  his joy. It’s true that you have no interest in mere stones, but remember while throwing away the gross stones, you are also snatching away his inner joy. And that’s unforgivable. Remember right now the boy is too small to know that these stones are nothing much. How can he know that, since he getting so much joy from playing with them? This is not the time to teach him about higher things. If you give him the right inputs, he will become aware, evolve to higher things and one day he will give up these stones himself. The idea is to increase a sense of awareness, not coerce somebody to give up things that they enjoy doing today. Awareness is the key component in one’s path.
So it’s simple. If you’re happy doing something, know you’re on the path. It maybe that your joy comes from something not so significant, but so what? You will evolve, become more aware, sooner or later. Then you will rise to the joy of higher things. The two criteria are awareness and bliss. If one is not blissful and one is not becoming more aware, then one needs a course correction. Not otherwise.