Ramayana, like most of our epics, shows men fighting, and women pining or suffering. I feel it is time for an alternative narrative. So here goes the key part of Ramayana as told my way.
In the forest, Rama, Sita and Lakshmana were counting the months and years. Seasons came and went. The flowers, fruits, smells, sights, and animal migrations all were showing them the passage of time. Sometimes time felt heavy on hand. Sometimes time was fleeting.
Ravana, the bad one, had his eye on Sita ever since he had lost in the Swayamvara. One day, a day to be made unforgettable in history, Rama and Lakshmana had gone away for hunting and gathering. Ravana had bided his time for this moment. He came to the hermitage. Disguised as a sanyasi, he approached Sita for a piece of pickle. Yes pickle. You see, Sita was excellent in making Vadu Mangai pickle. She picked the best tender mangoes of the Palghat region from the lot the brothers brought, carefully pickled them in earthen jars baked from the Telengana loam, spiced with choicest rock salt from Seemandhra and chillies of Byadagi. She used only the highest quality of turmeric from Sringeri region, hand-pounded of course. And the til oil came direct from Rayalaseema. Don't laugh. These wonderful ingredients existed in these places long before the states were formed on linguistic lines. They were thriving jungles full of opportunities, much like the southern states today are in times of election.
So Ravana asks for a piece of pickle. Sita sees behind his mask right away the evil ten-headed demon. You know there is an old saying: feeding a half-penny worth of buttermilk to the ten-headed (=ten mouths) Ravana. Even giving him so much pickle would be OK, but the fact that the demon came in disguise aroused suspicion. Pretending to use a hunting knife as a spoon to prise the pickle from the earthen jar, she quickly slashed Ravana's false beard, also hurting and damaging his nose in the process. Screaming in pain, powerless to hurt the pure soul that was Sita, Ravana showed his true colours and fled. He fled directly to his sister Shurpanakha, the evil demoness who was the absolute boss in his kingdom of Lanka. It was a byword that she basically ruled and Ravana was allowed to buy and run aircraft and beer companies for fun. In other words she did not believe that ten heads were better than one.
When Shurpanakha heard about the pickle misadventure, she was incensed. She wanted revenge, and wanted to teach the two hapless brothers and the woman a lesson. She descended on the hermitage, aided by her uncle Mareecha who came dressed up as a golden jewelry show room. The moment Sita saw it, she entered the showroom and lost all count of time. Meanwhile it was a trifling matter for Shurpanakha to abduct the two brothers, left helpless in the absence of the lady of the hermitage, under the pretext that there was much better hunting and gathering to be had in Lanka and they would be flying back well before Sita had finished her jewelry shopping.
When Sita came back, only to discover what an elaborate hoax the whole set-up was, she was livid with anger and drowned in tears, missing her beloved husband and brother in law. She immediately went in search, and found their bows and arrows discarded from the air just above Kishkindha. Tara, the monkey queen, told her of the two brothers flying away with Shurpanakha in the sky and how they dropped their weapons as a trail.
Tara summoned her monkey army, and Sita and Tara built a huge bridge and finally engaged Shurpanakha in a fierce battle. Mandodari, Ravana's good wife, stood on principle that abducting the brothers just as a revenge for the denied Vadu Pickle was a bad deal and immoral and illegal. She deserted Shurpanakha and joined Sita's side.
The battle was won and Sita and Rama ruled their kingdom happily ever after.
